Is this a confidence problem, stress problem, or something else?
(Note: This is G-rated, but it's kinda long.)
So, here's an understanding I've got: Part of what I do at my part-time pharmacy tech job is load up cassettes with medications for residents at group homes. We have a sizable number of these already, somewhere around 50. And some of them are pretty large as far as how many cassettes need to be loaded.
Well, it seems that the top man in the pharmacy has dreams of empire or something; he's hoping to bring another three houses on. Idk how big they are. What I do know is that given the aggravations that can and will take place over a typical week, it's kinda going to make things more difficult (okay, forget the kinda part), and I'm probably going to need to put in a few extra hours a week.
It's difficult for me to state exactly how I feel about this because as I think I've conceded before, this will be my B route out if paralegal doesn't work out (and even then I'll probably want to maintain my certification anyway). So the more I know the better, I guess. But...knowing the kind of person I am, I worry.
I do know that I can take 2 courses over the summer (1 each half), 3 in the fall, 3 next spring, and still get my AS. The summer courses are locked in because they'll help keep me occupied. But just knowing how college courses tend to be, it almost seems like I'm asking for trouble...yet I can't really put my finger on where the problem exactly is.
It's complicated. My standards do feel too high...but I'm afraid to dumb them down too much for fear that I might end up becoming a hermit somewhere if I do. This probably explains why, even though I might say that I'd be happy with B grades (or in the case of this semester simply passing -- no, results aren't in yet), I have trouble believing it for much in my heart.
There's something else that goes on, too...when the pressure is on -- and it certainly was with some of the LTPs (long term projects) that gave me trouble -- my heart tends to sink very quickly. I'm not the best at convincing myself that everything is going to be all right, so at times the motivation to move forward just magically disappears. Eventually it comes back, but usually not before I'm forced to scramble, which does tend to create a vicious cycle.
Am I just stressed out a lot because juggling both a job (part-time aspect notwithstanding) and classes is asking a lot (which is true)? Is there a lot of self-doubt inside me that wonders if I can really do this? (basically, this amounts to a confidence issue, possibly because it took me so long to actually find a path(s) that I care about)
Could it be a little of both? What do you guys think?
So, here's an understanding I've got: Part of what I do at my part-time pharmacy tech job is load up cassettes with medications for residents at group homes. We have a sizable number of these already, somewhere around 50. And some of them are pretty large as far as how many cassettes need to be loaded.
Well, it seems that the top man in the pharmacy has dreams of empire or something; he's hoping to bring another three houses on. Idk how big they are. What I do know is that given the aggravations that can and will take place over a typical week, it's kinda going to make things more difficult (okay, forget the kinda part), and I'm probably going to need to put in a few extra hours a week.
It's difficult for me to state exactly how I feel about this because as I think I've conceded before, this will be my B route out if paralegal doesn't work out (and even then I'll probably want to maintain my certification anyway). So the more I know the better, I guess. But...knowing the kind of person I am, I worry.
I do know that I can take 2 courses over the summer (1 each half), 3 in the fall, 3 next spring, and still get my AS. The summer courses are locked in because they'll help keep me occupied. But just knowing how college courses tend to be, it almost seems like I'm asking for trouble...yet I can't really put my finger on where the problem exactly is.
It's complicated. My standards do feel too high...but I'm afraid to dumb them down too much for fear that I might end up becoming a hermit somewhere if I do. This probably explains why, even though I might say that I'd be happy with B grades (or in the case of this semester simply passing -- no, results aren't in yet), I have trouble believing it for much in my heart.
There's something else that goes on, too...when the pressure is on -- and it certainly was with some of the LTPs (long term projects) that gave me trouble -- my heart tends to sink very quickly. I'm not the best at convincing myself that everything is going to be all right, so at times the motivation to move forward just magically disappears. Eventually it comes back, but usually not before I'm forced to scramble, which does tend to create a vicious cycle.
Am I just stressed out a lot because juggling both a job (part-time aspect notwithstanding) and classes is asking a lot (which is true)? Is there a lot of self-doubt inside me that wonders if I can really do this? (basically, this amounts to a confidence issue, possibly because it took me so long to actually find a path(s) that I care about)
Could it be a little of both? What do you guys think?
Replies
I should add that while this is labeled a call for help entry, it\'s not an urgent call for help. The next two weeks have just the part-time work only and so there is time to try to sort this out and try to get an idea. But by admission I feel lost on this and that\'s why this entry is labeled so.
I really have no real words of advice for you. I would say yes, this is stress from juggling around so much responsibility. The best thing I can say is just take everything one day at a time. I know you probably don\'t want to hear this, but I would take the minimal amount of classes you can. I think your job is very important, and if you mess up in that area losing it might make things worse. Certainly don\'t dumb anything down tho. Have you ever looked into online classes? I know most schools offer some now. You can only take a certain amount each term, but maybe taking one online might make things seem less stressful?
HUGS