Is the hospital necessary right now?
Well, I have to admit I am not doing well. I’ve hurt myself this whole weekend. I fought desperately not to act out last night. I did talk with the psychiatrist on call and he prescribed for me to increase the Seroquel at night to help control the impulse to control the memories and the nightmares with the re-enacting the scene. With the extra dose of Busperine I feel a little bit tired this morning, but it did weaken the impulse to act out to the point that I could control it.
Wow I am amazed how body memories can trigger my PTSD. I’m switching so frequently. The thing is... I thought Victoria had a divine encounter with the Lord as surrendered her control over to Him and collapsed a while ago in His arms.. So, what happened? My theory of that was one of many scenes that needed to be processed and surrendered over to him also. This past memory nearly killed me during the process, because my mind could not cope with any more. I was lost for it’s ability to cope. I was re-traumatized.
Hopefully, I do not act out today, because I have to teach tonight. I think my psychiatrist might put me in the hospital again. How can I hide this from my family? If I tell her I’m still acting out I fear that she might backer act me. Just long enough to get some time separation from my unhealthy way of coping of hurting myself to control the body memory. What will get me through this day since the body memories have so quickly returned?
Wow I am amazed how body memories can trigger my PTSD. I’m switching so frequently. The thing is... I thought Victoria had a divine encounter with the Lord as surrendered her control over to Him and collapsed a while ago in His arms.. So, what happened? My theory of that was one of many scenes that needed to be processed and surrendered over to him also. This past memory nearly killed me during the process, because my mind could not cope with any more. I was lost for it’s ability to cope. I was re-traumatized.
Hopefully, I do not act out today, because I have to teach tonight. I think my psychiatrist might put me in the hospital again. How can I hide this from my family? If I tell her I’m still acting out I fear that she might backer act me. Just long enough to get some time separation from my unhealthy way of coping of hurting myself to control the body memory. What will get me through this day since the body memories have so quickly returned?
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i am so sorry for the difficulties you are experiencing at this time, and I am keeping you in thought and prayer. Does your provider use EMDR? Did you try EFT tapping? Any help at all? These seem to help me not to relive the traumas as much when memories come up. I will keep you in heart and prayer.
I\'ve been struggling lately with much the same question...If I have already given it all to the Lord, and forgiven all those who hurt me, then why do I still have so many symptoms and problems related to the abuse? The therapist responded well. She pointed out that we are complex individuals with Body, Soul, and Spirit. The Spiritual part may have done all of this work, but the Body is a mechanical thing that runs pretty-much on cause and effect. So the shock and trauma in the body may still be healing and causing us to feel that we are failing when we are not really. We are healing, but it doesn\'t feel very good right now. Also, within those three categories are other categories and we may have done well with the work in some areas, but not in others that are still closed to ourselves and to the Lord. Until we are able to open those areas, they cannot receive what God has for us. That is scarey and painful, but then the healing can go deeper. I hope this helps. Safe hugs.