Is it possible to find true friends closeby anymore, or is it just me?

Recently most of my time has been spent with Frank. That's o.k. but I still need friends. I have made some wonderful friends here on DS and I wish you were closer but you're not. So, I need someone to go out with occasionally. We all do. So, about 3 years ago I met a girl who's my age in the waiting room of my psychiatrists office. We exchanged mumbers and have kept in touch. We've gone out several times. Day before yesterday she called to see if I wanted to go get my nails done and then go do some shopping and I did. We had a great time. She told me that the next night she wanted me to go to this new club with her. On Facebook later on she asked if we were still on and she said "Yes". So, I call her around 5 o'clock and no answer. Frank leaves to go play pool with his friends and around 9 I send her a text asking what happened. She said "Sorry, have been in the pool all day and didn't get the phone. Yes, we're still going. That place I told you about sucks(meaning she'd already gone and just didn't call) so meet me at The 2nd Half Bar. I went there, Frank was done with pool and met me there and my friend was nowhere to be found. I call her cell and she said "It was too crowded in there for my friend so we went next door to Toms Place. Me and Frank went next door to Toms and she was there. I sat with her, her husband and friend. We had a couple drinks, danced and talked. Then, she said they were going to head out. Now, my point is this........If she had really wanted me to go out with her she would have called me. Instead she finally answered my text at 9 o'clock, I guess because she just felt bad or sorry for me or whatever. I thought it was rude and Frank kept saying "If she was a true friend she would have called you instead of waiting until 9 o'clock to finally get back to you and then not be at the place she said she'd be." It makes me feel bad. Is the bar scene the best place? No. But it's o.k. to meet friends. The real kicker is this........we're sitting there at the bar and she's saying to her friend "Oh, you'll just love Kacey. She's so sweet. Is it o.k. if I tell her where we met?" I said o.k. So she tells her friend we met at the psychiatrists office and said "When I first met Kacey she barely went out anywhere. It was pitiful." Then she said "Kacey, I never told you this but I told Dr. Pratt one time that I'd met you and he told me to try to be your friend because you needed a friend." I told her, laughingly, I sure hope you don't hang out with me because Dr. Pratt told you to or because you feel sorry for me. That has gotten me thinking. Does she really want me as a friend or is she just being nice? The last person who was a "friend" that I spent time with, ultimately stopped talking to me when the money train stopped and she got on her feet financially. Am I pathetic? Why can't I find people that really like me? People say to go out and make friends. I'm trying but the people I do find seem to hurt my feelings. Frank has lots of friends and it makes me feel so bad that I don't. 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi Kacey, I can really understand what you said here in your journal, I find it really hard to make friends where I live. It would be so nice to have a friend to go out with and do some fun things with. I have also met such wonderful friends here on Ds. Hugs Dezna
Kacey1228
Kacey1228

Thanks, Dezna!
capncrunchbud
capncrunchbud

If someone needs a money train to be your friend, there\'s no better proof of not being a true friend than that. If someone is a true friend already and something like that happens long after the fact, that is fine. But selfish conditionals like that are always poison whether there\'s a fabric of true friendship there or not. For example, did your friend pay you back yet? I don\'t even need to hear the answer.
capncrunchbud
capncrunchbud

And btw, girlfriend was rude to say your not going out is \"pitiful\". You need companionship, not pity. xx
Kacey1228
Kacey1228

Yes, I DO NOT WANT PITY. I\'ve been taking care of myself for a long time. If someones nice to me because they pity me, then they should\'nt be nice to me at all.
deleted_user
deleted_user

IT POSSIBLE IF YOU DEAL WITH TRUE CHRISTIANS. NOT HYPOCRITES.
LET\'S CHAT KACEY!
BORIS KAZZ;)
sunflower10
sunflower10

Kacey,
I\'m so Sorry this Friend said mean and hurtful things to you. It\'s very odd that this friend wasn\'t at this bar or at that bar. Then she didn\'t call you and then called you back later. That is wrong. I think it\'s hurtful to tell you that the Dr said you needed a friend - for her to be your friend. I can\'t believe she said that to you .. was that in front of her friend ? You don\'t need that Kacey. You seem to have a Loving and Good Heart. I will Pray things get Better for you. I don\'t know if there are True and Real Friends out there.... My Best Friend Turned on Me 8 Years ago because I had Adhd and she doesn\'t understand me on a Full Scale.... she didn\'t even care to. It was a long life old best friend that turned on me and turned everyone we knew against me because of my Disability ... so I know Pain and Hurt. I think you should stick with your DS Friends - I do. Ya I wish DS Friends lived Closer- I\'m hoping someday 1 comes through that I really Connect with - to have someone to hang out with... I hear ya on that- I get Lonely too- I suffer from Ocd too - I just try not to talk about it - I know Life is Hard- I know ! Hang in there ! Maybe someone from DS will live near by - and you will really Connect with that Person as a Friend- that will probobly be a Better Friend for You- Stay Strong - and Know your DS Friends Love you and Care !
dazedanconfusedd
dazedanconfusedd

TRUE friends are so hard to come by anymore. I have very decent, caring friends online, but in real life, I have gotten to the point where I just don\'t trust anybody to be a friend with! I know that is sad, but when You get used so many times, you get to the point where you continue to be used by the user\'s or you withdrawl and that is what I have done. I too wish I had just one close friend to go have coffee with, but OH WELL! I think you and I are alot alike as that, when people meet us, it like we have an invisable sign on our forehead that says \"Use me, abuse me then toss me away\" I think it has to do with we are very nice people and people ALWAYS TAKE advantage of us! Has happened to me all through my life!