Is It Okay To Glue Your MIL's Lips Shut?
This woman is going to be the death of me. And if not, I may lose my temper and it will be reversed! She drives me up the wall!
She has three kids, my fiancee and his two sister's. She thinks she is omnipotent when it comes to parenting! Not so, she messed up her own kids so it would be nice if she let me mess up mine on my own!
We had cut off contact with her for awhile because she would not leave my parenting skills alone. She doesn't usually insult me outright. She says things as side comments, or to someone else when she knows I'm in ear shot. Or she will say 'maybe you should....................sweetie' and then smile like she is offering advice instead of trying to repeatedly shove it down my throat!
But Marlow has some serious ear infections and sleep hasn't been happening lately. So my sister in law offered to take her for the day so that I could sleep, or do house work, or regain my sanity...whatever I chose. But then she had an emergancy, and instead of calling me she dropped Marlow off at my MIL's!
When we went to pick her up it was like walking into hell! It began at the door!
I walked in and Marlow saw me and cried a little. So my MIL looks at her and says 'sweetie...it's your mommy you don't like! youve been good for me!' Piss off, but shrug offable.
Then, I make my own baby food, so I had packed 2 cubes of veg and 2 cubes of fruit for lunch and then some yogurt for a snack. We were a little late getting her so they fed her supper as well. No problem. But here is what she ate in the 6 hours she was there:
-her fruit
-her veggies
-her yogurt
-peas, corn, carrots, beef
-a bowl and a half of cream wheat
-a banana
-4 cookies
My MIL had the audacity to tell me that I was starving my daughter because she ate all of that. Of course she ate it all! Shes 6 months old! She will eat whatever you put in front of her! She doesn't yet know when enough is enough.
So then she tells me, for the millionth time, that I need to feed her more. And that on top of the usual three meals, I should add one in before bed. Um, no. I talked to a nurse and she showed me some info on bedtime feedings and snacks increasing the risk of childhood obesity. It made alot of sense. I don't want Mar to struggle with her weight because I caved to my MIL's demands
Also, about a month ago Marlow had decided no more bottle. So we introduced the sippy cup. No problems, she took it like a charm. She is 6 months old. Almost 7. But my MIL tells me that I'm going to cause her developmental issues by doing this and that she may grow up with retardation issues...WTF? So when I pick Mar up she tells me the sippy is in the fridge, and when I go to get it there is a bottle filled with formula beside it. She had fed her from a bottle behind my back because she thinks what I am doing is wrong!
And then...yes it goes on....I had dressed Mar in a onsie, sox, shoes, sweats and a long sleeved shirt. It was +12C when she left. So I tossed two blankets on her in her seat. She was just suppossed to be going to my SIL's. But my darling MIL tells my fiancee that she was going to take Marlow for a walk but I hadn't packed a coat. 'what sort of a mother doesn't pack a coat?' she asks. He didn't stand up for me either!
It may seem like I'm over reacting but this is EVERY time I see her with my daughter. She completley over rules what I say and does her own thing. My daughter is MY DAUGHTER! Not hers! What right does she have! And I have tried talking to her...she just brushes me off.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
She has three kids, my fiancee and his two sister's. She thinks she is omnipotent when it comes to parenting! Not so, she messed up her own kids so it would be nice if she let me mess up mine on my own!
We had cut off contact with her for awhile because she would not leave my parenting skills alone. She doesn't usually insult me outright. She says things as side comments, or to someone else when she knows I'm in ear shot. Or she will say 'maybe you should....................sweetie' and then smile like she is offering advice instead of trying to repeatedly shove it down my throat!
But Marlow has some serious ear infections and sleep hasn't been happening lately. So my sister in law offered to take her for the day so that I could sleep, or do house work, or regain my sanity...whatever I chose. But then she had an emergancy, and instead of calling me she dropped Marlow off at my MIL's!
When we went to pick her up it was like walking into hell! It began at the door!
I walked in and Marlow saw me and cried a little. So my MIL looks at her and says 'sweetie...it's your mommy you don't like! youve been good for me!' Piss off, but shrug offable.
Then, I make my own baby food, so I had packed 2 cubes of veg and 2 cubes of fruit for lunch and then some yogurt for a snack. We were a little late getting her so they fed her supper as well. No problem. But here is what she ate in the 6 hours she was there:
-her fruit
-her veggies
-her yogurt
-peas, corn, carrots, beef
-a bowl and a half of cream wheat
-a banana
-4 cookies
My MIL had the audacity to tell me that I was starving my daughter because she ate all of that. Of course she ate it all! Shes 6 months old! She will eat whatever you put in front of her! She doesn't yet know when enough is enough.
So then she tells me, for the millionth time, that I need to feed her more. And that on top of the usual three meals, I should add one in before bed. Um, no. I talked to a nurse and she showed me some info on bedtime feedings and snacks increasing the risk of childhood obesity. It made alot of sense. I don't want Mar to struggle with her weight because I caved to my MIL's demands
Also, about a month ago Marlow had decided no more bottle. So we introduced the sippy cup. No problems, she took it like a charm. She is 6 months old. Almost 7. But my MIL tells me that I'm going to cause her developmental issues by doing this and that she may grow up with retardation issues...WTF? So when I pick Mar up she tells me the sippy is in the fridge, and when I go to get it there is a bottle filled with formula beside it. She had fed her from a bottle behind my back because she thinks what I am doing is wrong!
And then...yes it goes on....I had dressed Mar in a onsie, sox, shoes, sweats and a long sleeved shirt. It was +12C when she left. So I tossed two blankets on her in her seat. She was just suppossed to be going to my SIL's. But my darling MIL tells my fiancee that she was going to take Marlow for a walk but I hadn't packed a coat. 'what sort of a mother doesn't pack a coat?' she asks. He didn't stand up for me either!
It may seem like I'm over reacting but this is EVERY time I see her with my daughter. She completley over rules what I say and does her own thing. My daughter is MY DAUGHTER! Not hers! What right does she have! And I have tried talking to her...she just brushes me off.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Replies
Ugh... she must have raised perfect children since she knows how to do it all so well!! *rolls eyes* I don\'t have kids, so I can only try to imagine what that must be like... but I imagine it\'s pretty damn frustrating. Every parent has to find their own parenting style, what works for them... and what may have been \"common knowledge\" 25 years ago is NOT necessarily the same now... times change, research occurs, we learn new things. YOU are a mother NOW, an extremely conscientious one from the sound of it (you make your own baby food?? that is SO super-mom-ish.. I love it!), so YOU are probably more on top of the current knowledge about raising children. Not to mention that Marlow is YOUR BABY.. you know her better than anyone else does or ever could, so only YOU know what is best for her. And all kids develop at their own pace- maybe I\'m wrong since I don\'t have kids, but it seems like it\'s good to just encourage them to do things as they are ready to do them- if it seems \"early,\" so what? That\'s a good thing! You can\'t try to stunt their growth.
There is nothing wrong with grandmothers wanting to be involved and maybe offer a suggestion here and there if they see you having a hard time with something... but if you\'re doing just fine, then they need to just stay in the role of GRANDMOTHER. They don\'t have to agree, but they need to keep their opinion to themselves. They had their chance at being the mother- just sit back and enjoy the role of grandma and just love and spoil your grandchild. It sounds so simple. But some people are know-it-all control freaks,.... and you can talk to them until you\'re blue in the face, but they will NEVER see that they are doing anything wrong. It sounds like this is the case with your mother-in-law, if you have already tried to talk to her about it. I think two things need to happen here- first, your guy needs to stand up for you and talk to his mom HIMSELF about all of this. If that doesn\'t help change things, then keeping your distance sounds like the best solution. And let your SILs know what\'s going on so that no one inadvertently leaves the baby with your MIL. Don\'t let anyone ever make you feel less-than-adequate as a mom. I know we don\'t know each other in \"real life,\" but from what I know it seems like you\'re a fantastic mom!