interesting

I hoped at taking the positive track this morning. Noticing that I was feeling sad - or getting down straight away when I woke up

and I decided to try and keep proactive, busy and positive.

As the morning wore on... it, the positive track, didn't work so well. It's like the pressure and sadness and depression

was weight building up. Thoughts about being alone etc.

I try to normalize it but I felt like I was just focusing on the feeling and getting lost in the mass of feeling.

I tried to remember what I seemed to want when I was out there, getting a coffee from the local bakery this

morning. I loved being around people. I loved the thought of living in the spaces between us. That's what I wanted.

Like to be in a kind of spiritual way with regard to each other. Like a priest or a rabbi.. But

I also realized that when I come in contact with something or someone that knocks me down - it kind of is something

I can't allow to win the fight against depression. I kind of need to remember what I want - I kind of need to remember

the good things. I don't feel 100% but that's ok - that's part of life. I like what Arfie wrote about having a varied diet so to speak. This is just what's on my mind. Finding my footing again.