Individual experience and commonality
I think I am learning the importance of understanding our experience but also our commonality
To weigh both things. So that when I see the pretty houses while driving and swoon in fantasies about how nice it would be to have one and design it all up
But then also not to get lost in the effacement that i'm not worthy but find instead our axios (worthiness in Greek) that we need a place to live just like everyone else. I'm using the 'we' to discuss this. :-)
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i'll betcha dollars to wishes that every one of those pretty houses holds at least someone like me who envies your independence enough to minimize your discomforts. 'tis human nature (commonality?) to want whatever it is we don't have. where's my panacea?
haven't i heard rumors about christians believing we are one body in christ? i reckon i should listen to my granny and believe half of what i see and none of what i hear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOKWDEz_5wU
Thanks Arfie! Much obliged!
https://youtu.be/qSIj17xbAyk?si=pEe4qQABsZGZtsvE
I’ve had this on my mind all during meal prep now.
I went down to meal prep and I did what I needed to do - it is getting just so habitual
to help cook - by helping prepare the vegetables - our meals here and a joy as I am
just embracing it all,, taking care of life.
I guess I don't need fill in the details of my experience but, while in small compline after the evening meal,
I found myself looking for something to focus on - the intensity of the reading during the meal and then
going to services immediately after with no stops in between really made me weary -
because I had no focus and was too tired to focus - I realized I was feeling anxiety...first in the form
of a storm of thoughts trying to hold onto my integrity - and then in my heart and chest.
It was kind of revelatory as I usually don't feel that clarity about my feelings - it's all thoughts
that I am desperately trying to put words to usually.
I then held onto my anxiety for dear life - and then grew too tired to do that - and I realized I needed to look
to Sister Gabrielia next to me for that context - and that we're all feeling anxiety at some point and don't always
have the strength or fortitude to hold onto our meaning - so that opened me up to compassion and letting people
in (letting go)
and just a lot of connection and emotions and warmth - only when I got back to the rectory and saw my friend MIka
and Blue and was able to relax and start to compose myself -
honestly I thought about my mom - and how she wouldn't let me have my own experience -
but in truth - though it feels like she is so much of my life (even though she pass in 1996-) - I NOW feel like I can use this quiet
time in my room to regroup and get on with what I need to do.
anxiety is a hard-wired part of the survival instinct, markus questionarius. the royal we in that fact extends to all species advanced enough to have a survival instinct. botanists claim to have discovered proof that even plants suffer anxiety.
alas, we humans do seem to carry everything to destructive extremes. oh, for the love of balance. . .
has stephen f. foster been beatified yet? in my church, he ranks right up there with leonard cohen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNt0kxXgNPs
thanks arfie!