Independent Career Worries

Waiting for checks to come in is mindbending.  I am sooooo financially stressed it is not funny and just came back from a networking partner anticipating a $2000 check that would have been very helpful, but the client has not mailed it out yet so I have nothing.  In terms of stress, I have been trying to induce a heart attack by pounding my chest in pure frustration, have done some damage there so maybe if God feels in a bad humor, he will simply kill me and end this hell.