IN MOURNING!!
THIS WAS ME BABY JIJI AT 3 MONTHS. I AM WRITING IN BLACK, THE COLOR OF MOURNING. I AM IN A DEEP STATE OF MOURNING OVER THE LOSS OF MY SWEETIE. I AM IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL. I HAVE CRIED MORE IN TWO DAYS THAN IN THE LAST TEN YEATS. TODAY IS THE BEGINNING OF DAY THREE AND STILL NO SIGN...NO HOPE. I HAVE PRAYED UNTIL I AM ALMOST PRAYED OUT. I SWING FROM BEING ANGRY AT GOD TO BEGGING HIM FOR HER SAFE RETURN. I AM JSUT BESIDE MYSELF. MY HUSBAND EVEN TOOK YESERDAY OFF WORK ON THE PRETEXT THAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR JIJI. THAT WAS PART OF IT BUT IT WAS MORE THAT HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT MY EMOTIONAL/MENTAL STATE. YEAH, SO AM I !!I FEEL LIKE A HUGE PART OF MY HEART AND SOUL ARE MISSING. I KNOW SOME OF YOU MAY THINK, IT'S ONLY A DOG..GET OVER IT. BUT TO ME SHE WAS SO...MUCH MORE. MY OTHER ANIMALS SENSE MY DESPAIR AND ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO LICK OR SNUGGLE ME. THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO THE MOODS OF THEIR OWNERS.I KEEP TRYING TO BE POSITIVE BUT SOMETHING INSIDE JUST TELLS ME THAT I MAY NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!! IN THIS CASE, I HOPE THAT SOMEONE FOUND HER AND HAS GIVEN HER A GOOD HOME, SMALL COMFORT BUT BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE, THAT SHE IS LOST, HUNGRY, COLD AND SCARED AND THAT SHE WILL DIE!!FOLKS, I KNOW THAT THIS LETTER IS VERY DEPRESSING AND I AM SORRY TO SUBJECT YOU TO MY GRIEF. BUT I REALLY NEED AN OUTLET FOR MY PAIN. I ALSO NEED YOUR CONTINUED THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.I THANK ALL OF YOU, AND THERE HAVE BEEN MANY HERE ON DS, SOME I DON'T EVEN KNOW, THAT HAVE SENT POSITIVE NOTES. PLEASE, KEEP IT UP.I PROBABLY WILL NOT BE ANSWERING YOUR JOURNALS FOR AWHILE BUT I DO READ THEM. I JUST CAN'T FOCUS ON ANYTHING AND THE CRYING DOESN'T HELP.THANK YOU , FRIENDS.DEBBIE
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