im so confused

i dont know what is happening to me. i am so mad today i cant see stait. have a job interveiw tommorow and i dont even want to go. i hate my life so bad. now it is raining, like i need moore things to be afaid of. i cant even think strait today. drove my son out becasuse i camt seem tpo stop yelling i knew this was going to happen. its not all his fault. its mostly mine. he wont even try to get a job and im so mad at him all the time. think im realy njust so mad at myself. i hate my life so bad. oldest son may be losing his job on top of everything else. i dont know how much moore i can take. havnt even paid the rent yet... maybe mnoore later. now i have to work at a crap job that im going to hate forever. dont even want to go to the interveiw... ok, by for now. maybe ill get hit by lightning and that will be that... ok, by for now....my life realy sucks. wish my boyfreind would just pay the bills and i could just stay here and have the nervoius breakdown allready... oh well, breakdowns are for the rich....