im getting stronger physically......
i miss the physical time that my stbx spent 2gether. the last time we had sex was effing awful. but times b4 have been great. its the only time that ive felt affection from him 4 a long time. i miss affection. its not specific 2 him. not anymore. but i miss it. he's in my house and it wld b so easy? convenient?
he says i dont nd him and that s a problem?
what has he done to make me need him? what does he have to offer that i need?
he also sd that he needs me but doesnt want me. i think hes crazy
my therapist sd i need 2 accept that what i want in a relationship/marriage that stbx does not have it. that he does not have those personality traits. its hard to accept b/c the person i am 2day is not the person i was when we got married. i matured. y didnt he?
he told me some time ago that he was regressing. y wld someone choose to do that? maybe he didnt choose to anymore than i chose to mature. it was a result of my experiences and a need. i needed to mature. my younger self cld not handle what was happening. y was his reaction to go backward? cause thats what he's doing....he didnt hold onto his own house or marriage or family. he's staying in someone elses house. and hell prob soon be back in his mother's house. hes acting irresponsibly. hes blowing through his money every week and is broke by tuesday.
hows he gonna get a new place doing that. prob is idk if i can kick him out. my dr says he can stay as long he is more of a hep than a burden. now that he's out of my living room hes not so much of a burden...hes neither a hug help now that im feeling stronger physically....
mostly he just causes me to revisit things that i prob shld have long since released....
i guess if hes gonna slow my progress of getting over him then him being here is a disservice to me.
but with the kids and especially this nb hell b around so much what dif does it make?
but if i wanna b open 2 dating then we cant live as roomates. and truly idk if i can ever c him as s roommate. it hurts me that he can c me that way, but thats his issue not mine
he sees me naked all the time and his lack of interst hurts my feelings
if hes gonna b my "roommate" and not my husband then i need some barriers.
i gotta stop being naked and be slow to let him in my bedroom
the sad thing is with his screwed upness...as soon as i push him out hell prob want in
idiotic
i gotta b done and that includes sex
maybe i can get another sex partner in the meantime
or perhaps a really fun dildo
he says i dont nd him and that s a problem?
what has he done to make me need him? what does he have to offer that i need?
he also sd that he needs me but doesnt want me. i think hes crazy
my therapist sd i need 2 accept that what i want in a relationship/marriage that stbx does not have it. that he does not have those personality traits. its hard to accept b/c the person i am 2day is not the person i was when we got married. i matured. y didnt he?
he told me some time ago that he was regressing. y wld someone choose to do that? maybe he didnt choose to anymore than i chose to mature. it was a result of my experiences and a need. i needed to mature. my younger self cld not handle what was happening. y was his reaction to go backward? cause thats what he's doing....he didnt hold onto his own house or marriage or family. he's staying in someone elses house. and hell prob soon be back in his mother's house. hes acting irresponsibly. hes blowing through his money every week and is broke by tuesday.
hows he gonna get a new place doing that. prob is idk if i can kick him out. my dr says he can stay as long he is more of a hep than a burden. now that he's out of my living room hes not so much of a burden...hes neither a hug help now that im feeling stronger physically....
mostly he just causes me to revisit things that i prob shld have long since released....
i guess if hes gonna slow my progress of getting over him then him being here is a disservice to me.
but with the kids and especially this nb hell b around so much what dif does it make?
but if i wanna b open 2 dating then we cant live as roomates. and truly idk if i can ever c him as s roommate. it hurts me that he can c me that way, but thats his issue not mine
he sees me naked all the time and his lack of interst hurts my feelings
if hes gonna b my "roommate" and not my husband then i need some barriers.
i gotta stop being naked and be slow to let him in my bedroom
the sad thing is with his screwed upness...as soon as i push him out hell prob want in
idiotic
i gotta b done and that includes sex
maybe i can get another sex partner in the meantime
or perhaps a really fun dildo
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