Im cutting because i can

Im going to cut, its that simple. its gunna happen and its gunna happen tonight, im not going to be able to stop this... no ones here to stop me. im crying and shaking and wish i could stop! but my whole body is in serch of a blade i keep rummaging through things but my blades are at my bfs and im at home, im so distressed, im gunna end up doing something worse if i cant cut. i feel so childish and stupid but im so freaked out atm :(