illusion

I feel we live in this world of illusions. Illusions of what we want or of what we expect things to be. In every direction things could be nothing more than deceiving. We may dream of the white picket fence and happy ever after. You might could enjoy that illusion of this world with many turns of your head to look the other way. Or just maybe acceptance of what you can not chance. How can I over look things that have damaged and changed me. Things that cling to me like letches.. Sucking my happy thoughts away. How do I forgive myself? How do I forgive others? How do I find peace it a world that you can only trust so few? Some days are a lot better than others in seeing the things that can make me complete. But there is never a feeling of being truly whole again.
Just a negative mind today. I hate what how I feel at times.