illness and productivity

I keep on thinking that I will get to a place where I can easily manage my emotions, not a perfection but where I can be more at ease with it and then be more focused in my productivity. I guess I have to accept that I am somewhat unstable and I am emotional. It makes going for goals more difficult because I get sidetracked by my "experience" and spend time 'managing' - it's just something that I am coming to grips with. I would love to write a book, perhaps I will be able to knock something out if I just stay with it all things considered.