If this is my hormones then give me some damn estrogen!!!

I tell my p doc and t doc I'm super angry all the time. Not like normal angry like I want to stab people angry and they think it's my hormones getting out of whack. There's no way that's all this is. No way. My hysterectomy was 8 months ago. My mood are shifting all over the place and it's scaring me. I look at John and I resent him for being healthy. That's not me. It's not mean to dig my nails into my arms daily and to cry hysterically out of nowhere.
 
 I'd get the hormone thing if I hadnt felt this way 15 years ago when I was out on the lamictal. I'm not saying it couldn't be a combination of both but it's not just the hormones. I'm so sick of my doctors. I get tried on 3 different estrogen patches and not told there were other options to try like creams amd patches.  Wtf. I'm so sick of not knowing whether or not what is what. All I know is my mood was fine a week ago. I felt good. I was having dinner,puppy shopping,going out to lunch and now I'm either crying,or wanting to throw things at the wall. It's such an uncontrollable feeling. I really need a doctor who will listen. I can't take this much longer.
 
Or how bout this...how bout finding me the wrong type or dose of hormone replacement therapy and giving me a damn mood stabilize. I hate meds but the fact that I have all these health problems and the only med I'm one right now is trazodone does not make sense. I need fixed.