I wrote this post - before I wrote the last one.

I look at those who are really successful and marvel how 

they manage their energies and life... I get stuck in the minutiae if left too 

long to my own devices.

As I question myself and my life...so often I end up with a misty kind

of nothingness and need very much to be in touch with people.

I get stiff and cloudy with illness.

This may sound crazy or clear but I know now we tell each other who we are

to each other - and I must respond to that

I know I have to accept some kind of structure (the commonality) that is part of humanity otherwise

self definition only leads me to darkness and illness. I 

think adopting some kind of meaning - structure that is not my own is helpful to keep

me healthy - it helps me exist in commonality. And yet I know that I can choose my kind of 

reinforcement. I think what I am struggling with here is the need to see the commonality in life but then also dealing with the challenges in life as victoriously as possible.