I wrote this last night, it really helped!

Please don't mind this journal. I'm doing well. The ideas in it helped me. I am doing well, I wrote this last night. Tis' all part of healing/growing:

I thought about tonight how when I am alone, I grow aggressive and paranoid for the lack of input from the surroundings in my room. I think I found that I have combated  that reality by having things that were beautiful or perfectly neat, etc. and I related to things like a fitting in with the decor. At least that was unconsciously a way I dealt with things. But tonight I thought about how other people perceive their time or think about things when they are alone. If they do get angry and suspicious and worried about relationships around them that they haven’t been reinforced by in a few hours if that makes sense. Anyway, things are good. I’m going to sleep. I have good things to think about tomorrow it’s my birthday.