I would yell at me...
I came here to get yelled at...I can give advice but not take it apparantly. I went to dinner with my ex. I was nervous and emotional. She wasn't emotional. No I didn't ask her to come back. Just that I loved her and I'll take what I learned to be a better person. Thank her for her time for a year and told her I was happy with her.
Some of her issues - she expected me to come back in a few days, she hated being called a dumper (What is she than), and Alyssa (my 25 yr old daughter) . I think Alyssa is the big one. She feels there can't be another woman as long as Alyssa is around. That she'll always be first and I can't let anyone else. I told her I don't believe that..but part of me is fearful Alyssa will never get her life together. So we hugged, she texted me she was home and thanks for the dinner and that was it..we meet because she wanted to give me money for airfare but I couldn't take it because I know money is tight for her. And she brought gifts from Russia...they will be in the closet a long time...so there is my stupid thing. I'm edgy but ok I guess. I mean I didn't have hope anyway. So it will pass I think. Yes, deleted her off my phone. She still needs to get her stuff from my house too. I stored it when she moved.
I did kiss her which was dumb...her text was that was the best part. But no, I don't see anything changing.
So maybe it's closure. I'm edgy but no tears. Would love to drink (I rarely drink) but can't because of antibotics..soo...
She wants to be friends. I told her no. I said could she hear me dating other women (She didn't answer), because I couldn't hear her dating other men. She said we wouldn't talk about that. I said I'll still no so no. Not for years.
It will be ok in a few days...
Replies
No yelling from me. Sounds like you had a little stumbling block on your road to recovery. You missed her, and just wanted to see her, even though you knew deep down it wasn't a good idea, that it wouldn't fix things, etc. I have been there, too. I hope in some way this dinner gave you some kind of closure. What about those things of hers that you have.... can you send her a text or e-mail that says something like "Hi. I need to return your things back to you by the end of this month. Can you let me know when you could come pick them up? I don't have to be there when you do, if you prefer it that way. Thanks."
I just feel you hanging on to her things is holding you back in some way. Because you know that you will have at least one more contact with her... which is not healthy in your journey toward healing and moving on with your life. Best to set up a definitive day for her to come get her things. Or, you bring them all back to her. Make room in your place (life) for a new person. You never know when a new person will come along! Best wishes to you.
Thanks. No I would totally yell at me. It was dumb. I was healing. And than messed up...she wants to be friends...
Her stuff is like a uhaul. So she has to get it. I won't be here. Daughter will let her get her stuff.
My problem....while she helped my self esteem..still see myself as ugly and won't find anyone. So I have to work on that
I'm glad you said "no" to being friends! There's no such thing, after a relationship reaches a certain point, no going back. I'm glad you deleted her off your phone and decided to work on you. You said "maybe it's closure". It is if you make it so...cut her off once and for all.
Head agrees. Just have to get the heart on the same page. Too many tears...
Sorry you're going through this. Have to get right back up and start again with No Contact. I don't know you, but I am sure you are not so "ugly" that you won't find someone again! You met her, right? Had previous relationships?? Guess you ain't that ugly then :)
(Besides, women are way more about a guy's personality than a guy's looks). And, you have been through break ups before. And you know they will hurt. And you know that you got back out there and met another person. I encourage you to join some groups, such as a cooking class at a community college (lots of women there!!), a co-ed sports league, check Meetup groups. Get out there and talk to some new people. It will make you feel better. Being sad, lonely is no fun, so get out there!! :)