I would like your opinion as I have met a guy named Dave.

I would like your opinion on something as I have met a guy named Dave.  I am totally confused as I still feel sad about losing my Smokey.  It has only been nine months going into ten months in September since Smokey's death.  I am really concerned about being hurt when you leave yourself to being vulnerable in a new relationship because of the death of my Smokey.  Dave scared me when he said he thinks he is falling in love with me.  I panicked and got scared.  Wow!  It is pretty heavy since Smokey has been only gone 9 1/2 months.  I feel like running out the back door.  Dave seems to be a nice, kind and caring fellow.  He is the kind of guy that I am looking for but still feel sad that Smokey is gone out of my life.  If Smokey hadn't died, I wouldn't be in the position of finding someone else.  I hate the dating seen.  This was thru a mutual friend that brought Dave and I together.  With Dave, it is really easy, comfortable and seems perfectly natural.  These are all good things.  Why am I so scared of something that could be good?  I know one thing about Dave is that he won't get married but could live common-in-law.  I already had both marriage and common-in-law.  It is much easier to leave a common-in-law relationship than a marriage.  I am trying to look at all the facts.  Feelings are a different subject all together.  Dave and I are the odd couple.  He is 6'5" and I am only 5'2" tall.  He has salt and pepper very short hair.  I am a dyed blonde average to short length in hair.  Dave rents a place with a room mate.  I live alone in an apartment that I own.  Dave has been working at the same company for 22 years.  I am unemployed.  Dave is not an alcoholic but he enjoys his beer and wine.  I am trying to drink on a more modest level.  With everything that has been happening to me, I could have turned out to be an alcoholic that is for sure and all of us on this website could be as well.  I am not.   I am trying to look with both eyes open and figure things out for myself.  I want to know where I stand.  Dave has his own opinions and thoughts on our relationship.  I just want to figure my own out before I hear hears.  Dave is very easy to talk to and a good listener.  Today Dave had things to do so we parted ways.  I had to do my own grocery shopping.  It made me mad for some reason which was not deserved.  Dave does have his own life before he met me and I have mine.  Thanks for listening cause believe it or not it helps to put this down on paper.  It helps me get clarity of mind, which is much needed at this time.  Sometimes I can over re-act to a situation which is not warranted at all.  I think it is the case now.  Thank you for listening from Diane Baillie

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I once dated a man after I\'d been separated but before my divorce was final. The timing was far from ideal. He agreed to be patient - and he was - and I agreed to keep an open mind and not dump something that might otherwise have been wonderful except for the terrible timing.

You don\'t have to decide anything today. If he pressures you, run, but if he\'s willing to let things keep unfolding, then stick around and see where things go. You can still live for today and only today, even if you\'re starting a new relationship.

Hugs to you - this is so hard.
Gail
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am with Gail. You don\'t have to decide anything other than whether you like him enough to continue seeing him or you don\'t. Just take it slow and easy......if it is meant to work it will. Good luck on your decision.
Hugs, Dianne