I won't turn left
I am reading other posts, and I swear I sit back and wonder, is that me writing the posts? So many of us share the same addiction, the dark place we all go too, the place that convinces us, that its okay to go, and once we get in the car and head in that direction, there is no turning back, until we have gone, and I stay for days, and broken my spirit, returning with sadness and disgust, and telling myself I won't do it again, until again, one day I get in my car, and head in the casino direction again.... cycle after cycle, after cycle, I go again. I don't want to go again, I don't want to convince myself I can go again, I don't want to hurt anymore, or hurt the people that love me. I need to read the posts, and I need to remember, that getting in my car, and turning "left" to the casinos, will only break my spirit, that if I take the left turn, I won't be able to stop, and I am sure, one day this addiction, if I decide to take the left turn to the casino, will kill me. So, for today I am not going to gamble, I pray that each day that goes by we get stronger, and happier, and truthful when it comes to the fact that we have no control over this addiction and its okay, as long as we don't go.
Replies
Each day does become easier and you become stronger....being the victor over your urges. Retraining your mind that you can live without this addiction is one of the hardest things to do. You should feel proud you made the right decision yesterday....now we just have to worry about today....one day at a time is what it takes.
You are doing the right things. Journaling. Way to \"not turn left\". As long as you can conquer the urges. It is super tough, but when you don\'t give in, it gives you the strength the next time. To know you can overcome and wait it out. Sometimes last longer than others. But, you will grow stronger.
BE proud,
you have made the committment and you are working at making it
your new reality.
You have come to the point where it just isn\'t working anymore
and you are questioning your brains addiction.
Look at it for what it is,.......
you can feel the wrong these actions are doing to you
and you want change.
Stay with it and remember how gambling hurts your life.
Have you tried GA??
It really is worth the effort to just go and see
they are people just like here only real and live.
You are on your way to a much better life.
sorry I see you\'ve tried GA,
I too find a lot of comfort here, right here.
But we need the people to be accountable to
such as family and friends to help keep us on the straight and
narrow early on.
That is what I\'ve experienced.
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