I wish this day didn't come

Today I would have been a mother. Today my husband would have been a father. Instead of sitting at work I would have been holding my little one in my arms tired and excited that we could finally meet the little person we loved so much from the day we knew they were growing inside of me. Instead I have a numb feeling. Instead I have a broken heart. Instead, I have a hole where my baby should have been. I wish this day didn't come. It felt like another life time ago finding out we were expecting. The joy, the happiness and excitement and how we couldn't contain it. Then how suddenly we had to say goodbye. It just doesn't seem real. Instead of holding my little one I am having to stick needles in my stomach. I never got to see my stomach grow as my child grew inside. Instead I get to watch other people have that joy while I get to promised that one day it will be me too. Today would have been my day. It just doesn't seem real in any way. I just wanted to sleep straight through today.