I wish people stopped thinking they knew what depression was

As someone who has had depression for the majority of my life, it really pisses me off when people assume that they know what it is like.  Sorry sweetie, but if you haven't suffered from it, you don't know.  Yes I know that there are all of these tests done, and doctors that think they get it.  But you don't know the pain that comes from it, not unless you have felt it.  

In high school, I hid it.  I pretended to be the happy-go-lucky teen that just wanted to get through school.  I hid the cuts and scars, and no one was the wiser, until my so called best friend saw the cuts when I reached for something and my sleeve slid up.  I was stupid and foolish in her eyes and she said she couldn't be friends with someone that did that.  (Let's ignore the fact that the girl that ended up being her best friend was a daily cutter, because that is totally different, right?)  I ended up cutting a lot more after that, and even tried to over dose.

Another friend decided to talk about me behind my back and then told me that she did it, because that was going to make me feel better.  I suddenly realized how hated i was and for the second time, I tried to over dose.  

After that, I said fuck it, and I started hating everyone.

I went to  college and though that things would change.  I made a few friends, lost them, made a few more that stuck with me, but even with those, i couldn't be myself.  I learned that living with depression was a crime.  I heard comments like "You are pulling a Jessi" and "Quite being a cry baby, you sound like Jessi"

Yeah, way to make me feel like I matter.  So I graduated, came home and started working.  Yet again, I hid behind a smile, pretending i was happy, and no one ever knew.  

So today when I saw a facebook post by the same person that made some of the comments from above, about how it seemed crazy that someone who suffered from depression would hang on to someone that doesn't really care about them.  That it made more sense for someone to be with people that loved them.

I so badly wanted to make her understand that it isn't that simple.  Because yes people should be with those that love them, but when you're depressed, it's not that simple, because every odd look, and every side remark, makes you feel like you don't belong.  And yeah, the person you are sticking to, might make it worse, but they probably make you feel like you matter, even if they are just using you to make themselves feel better.  And when you are depressed, someone that makes you feel like you matter is what you need, and the people that love you, don't understand that, they think "Well i love you, isn't that good enough?"

No.  No, it's not.