I wish I could vomit

I wish I could puke up all the anxiety, guilt, shame and regret I carry inside me. It all stays in a sick lump in my gut I carry around with me every day. No way to get it out, no way to feel clean or healthy. I take medication to try and stay sane, but even that is iffy. I feel my sanity slip in tiny bits each day, it's scary. I isolate myself so people won't find out how sick I really am. I wish it all was over.