I will make it through these next 2 days...
I think I'm starting to realize why I've been freaking out? Is it because all the firsts will be gone? Maybe Im surprised I made it through the first year? I also keep reliving that Monday night when the 2 officers knocked on my door to tell me that my son had been found a block away from a rehab facility in TX, just 24 hours after being released and had died from a Heroin Overdose?
I must be stronger then I thought i was? I did make it through 'our' first year and I will continue to take baby steps, breathe and make it through all the seconds, thirds etc.
I continue to look for signs, keep sending them Greg, your Mum loves you and we will get through it together.
It still hurts that no one in the family wants to talk about you, remember you, heck even mention your name. Why they tell me you're not in heaven? Why the tell me to move on? I may never know why they are like they are?
I'm just thankful I have the Moms here, who don't' judge and listen and encourage me to talk about you. :) So talk about you I will, with every breathe I take, you will always be my son...
Greg's Mum, Julie
I must be stronger then I thought i was? I did make it through 'our' first year and I will continue to take baby steps, breathe and make it through all the seconds, thirds etc.
I continue to look for signs, keep sending them Greg, your Mum loves you and we will get through it together.
It still hurts that no one in the family wants to talk about you, remember you, heck even mention your name. Why they tell me you're not in heaven? Why the tell me to move on? I may never know why they are like they are?
I'm just thankful I have the Moms here, who don't' judge and listen and encourage me to talk about you. :) So talk about you I will, with every breathe I take, you will always be my son...
Greg's Mum, Julie
Replies
Julie we love hearing about your precious Greg. Talk about him all you want here. It\'s been almost 6 years ago that I lost both of my sons & my family still don\'t offer me any support. If I mention Jeremy or Chad my family usually gets quiet or manages a forced smile. In the 1st year when it dawned on me that family was not there for my husband & I, it made me very upset. But when I came here I found out it appears to be common among a lot of the moms. Perhaps family doesn\'t know how to help so they just don\'t. Possibly they may think if they are around us it could also happen to them, like its contagious.
Now I view it as part of my gentle self care, to choose who I want to be around & when. That may sound selfish but I truly feel in order for me to heal & move forward is to surround myself with people who contribute to that healing. If it doesn\'t include family then so be it.
I\'m hoping you will be surrounded with what you need that leads to your healing. You deserve good things Julie. Much love...Vicki
(((hugs)))
I\'m so sorry for the STUPID things you\'ve been told about your precious son. Humans can be real butt heads sometimes. But to be a butt to a grieving mom....well, that\'s just below low. I\'m sorry.
You son suffered from an illness. Period. He deserves as much respect and honor as anyone who fought and lost a battle with cancer or any other disease!
You brag on your boy and we\'ll all gladly listen and brag on him too! After all, he\'s part ours!!
Love you my friend!
Love to Greg!
And IF any child ever left earth in an \"unforgivable\" way (of which there is no such thing in my opinion) how in the hell does anyone justify NOT giving unconditional support to a grieving mom!!! Just pisses me off!!
It is their loss dearest Julie, their LOSS! Here is a time when any form of compassion would be so greatly appreciated and they are unable to give it. This is why this path can feel SO terribly lonely at times and why being able to come here is so very necessary. There is always a hand to hold and a heart that understands.
Greg suffered from a terrible disease as did my son and countless others. Their lives matter and we will continue to speak their names with all the LOVE that we have.
You are still so very new on this path and having endured all the \"firsts\" takes courage as do all the steps you are taking currently.
Loving care and YOUR Greg matters as do YOU, his forever mum!
XO Joanie
Thanks y\'all, I truly wouldn\'t have made it this year if I didn\'t\' have you all as friends This site, my grief class for those who lost someone to Heroin and Facebook are the only places I can talk about Greg. It makes me sad, that my family won\'t talk about him, won\'t mention his name, do not want to look at his scrapbook I finished months ago. But it is their LOSS Love you ladies! I so hope to go to the next retreat, I so want to meet you all!
Huge tight {{{Hugs}}}....
getting through all those \"firsts\" is frightening,,,, you made it and we are still here holding hands to g through the next year together.. and family,, I say \"ha\" family.. we listen better... love ya!
Julie, I agree with what others have said. You come here and talk about Greg anytime. Auntie Linda wants to hear about him anytime! And I agree with the other moms too. Greg had a disease! There but for the grace of God go I! If I know that don\'t we think God understands? Greg was created by God and in God\'s image. God loves and has welcomed Greg into Paradise!
My \"birth\" family won\'t discuss my son and most of my in-laws won\'t either as well as many of my friends. But I will continue to talk about Ed and if they are uncomfortable that is their issue. I have enough to deal with. Love to you and dearest Greg, Linda
Julie, you keep talking about Greg anytime that you want to, not only here but anywhere you want to! I have a distant cousin (not on my friend list but he sees my posts to other family member) who mocks me on Facebook when I mention my son\'s name and while I do not instigate his mockery, I do not allow it to deter me. F*** him! My son died of heroin overdose and YES it is not the exact same as dying of cancer or cystic fibroses or anything else, but my son is just as dead as anyone else\'s child. What is the difference between something self-inflicted or hereditary or a cause of environment or genetic etc? I remember those \"firsts\", sweetie! I am on the \"sixths\" now. I am fortunate in that my family freely speaks of my son and misses him and most of them have ignored the asshole cousin who mocks me. The \"firsts\" will be over and believe me, before you know it, you will be counting the years! It seems like yesterday that I reached out to FMO for help and yet, I am in the sixths. Unbelievable!
Peace to you, dear one.
Belinda
They are precious to us.