I Want to Just Runaway
I am so upset. GOD! I wish I could just leave, or just tell everyone to fuck off. I'm gonna swear alot in this entry I think, I have had more than enough of my shit show life!I can't believe my fiancee! He thinks his life is so fucking hard. Going to work five days a week, going out on weekends, sleeping through the night and getting up whenever he feels like it. He wanted to be up at nine this morning, and at five minutes too the baby woke up hungry. So I asked him if he would feed her so I could get some more sleep, and he flipped the fuck out. Said that on weekends he feels like a single parent because he does everything. Seriously?? When it comes to waking up with her three times in the night, and feeding her, and changing her, and bathing her, and dressing her, I thought I was doing some(if not most) of it, but I must of been mistaken. Since he does everything! Everytime I ask him to do something with her that he doesn't want to he makes me feel like a bad parent. He claims I don't spend any time with her, and I don't do things that he does. He tells people, when I'm there, that all I do all day is sit on the computer and ignore our daughter. Or that she cries when I hold her because I am a bad mother. He thinks I should find this funny!And my sister. Ugh. She has a new boyfriend. He stays here every single night. He showers here. He does his laundry here. He eats almost all his meals here. She pays $50 a month towards groceries, laundry soap, shampoo and conditioner. We spend $400 a month on those things. So I tell her if this keeps up she will have to pay more. And then she freaks out on me. Telling me that she doesn't even use $50 worth of stuff so why should she have to pay anymore. And, she tells me that I have to buy her her body wash and toothpaste and soap of her choice, cuz, ya know, she pays a whole whopping $50. I was trying to give her a chance to get back on her feet when we decided what to charge her for living with us. And she just fucking takes advantage of it!Nobody around here does anything! If the garbage is full, instead of emptying it, they set the trash on the counter beside the garbage until I empty it. Everyone just dumps their dishes in the sink, if I want them done and don't want to do them myself it takes me days to get them done by whoever's dishes they are. I asked my fiancee to put away half a basket of laundry three days ago. It's still sitting on the couch. Everyone uses towels, yet no one is willing to wash them. They dump them in my laundry pile. With four adults and two babies we go through a shit load of towels!And then there is the fucking dog. I told my little sister she COULD NOT have a dog. Told her many times. Well she goes out and gets a dog. A puppy. I'm not the sort of person to condemn an animal to the streets or SPCA so she tells me that if she didn't take him he would of been homeless. Now he pisses everywhere. On the floor, on our COUCH, fucking he shit on her pillow. And her idea of cleaning it up is to smear it around on the floor with paper towel, or to rub at it with one or OUR blankets that I keep on the back of the couch for colder days, or to throw her pillow case into my laundry pile. I told her fuck that with the pillow case and I have told her numerous times how to properly clean up after her dog. Plus, he is kennel trained for when she isn't home, and she will leave him cooped up in his kennel for 20 hours at a time. He's a fairly big dog. That's another issue. We own a chihuahua, and she brings home this beast. He has made our dog bleed, he is violent with him, and my sister laughs and says they are just 'playing.'I'm done! I don't want to be here anymore. I have already taken off and put away my engagement ring. I'm seriously considering leaving my boy. And my sister. I'm so fed up with how everyone assumes that I will take care of EVERY fucking thing in this goddamn house. My sister is always bitching about how messy it is, but she refuses to clean and I can't clean up after four fucking adults, two dogs, and two babies. I want to pack a bag for me and for Marlow and leave. FUCK EVERYBODY!
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