I want something else...
things are going well....got some things done this morning
and have started to wonder about other things that I could look into
that will protect myself and my life as I age...
I was focusing on doing things with a sense of excellence this morning
in reaction to and
after waking to a kind of disturbing series of thoughts...
I realize I tend to think of things in a way that kind of power myself down
into a kind of linearity if that makes sense...and I think it happens
when I have exhausted my energies and indeed need a rest...
so I took grasp of my sense of excellence today and mixed it with a summoning
of my personal judgement and got on with the morning and day and did good work.
As all work is done, I have been thinking as I laid next to Blue on the floor...that I definitely
want something more from the day....why don't I paint? What is the painfulness
that I avoid in taking the first step??
Anyways I decided to scribble here..I thought about researching things that
would be good for me to plan for my future. I've thought I want something
more - but is pleasure the best kind of direction to go towards?
Keep taking care of life Mark??? Find additional ways to care for things that you're not doing now??
Is that anxiety?? The only motivator to my self questioning?
You get only one life, have a fabulous time.
Replies
Here's to finding the activity to help you relax and enjoy the activity.
I think when I was younger I thought about "Letting the great adventure out there call to me."
Indeed saying it now stirs those embers of excitement and joy. But more so now I wonder
'am I taking care of myself?' And so the adventure of choice might well be more appreciated
earnestly as I have learned to savor all of the qualities of my existentialism. :)
Still you only get one life...have a fabulous time hehe.
thanks Mid! I replied before I saw your reply!!
what's more to think about is that my parents may be moving far away sometime in the coming months.
It will be the first time in a very long time that I will be living far from them and immediate family
whom I can see on a regular basis.
That being said I kind of need to get my butt in gear and start doing things that enrich my life on my own
and develop it rather than putting it off. I will be on my own sometime in my life in the future.
It would behove me and makes sense that it's important to liven things up and live a bit.
dunno why, but my eyebrow lifts each time you mention painting and i am continually resisting the urge to ask if you are putting some of these extra hours to work on that venue.
an art class, maybe? an art workshop? i've known mental health facilities which sponsor open art studios where you can come in whenever you like and work whatever medium you like.
my best friend is giving me an art coaching session with her other friend who is an artist for my birthday. That will be a thing for me
to try it again. I don't know if I need an assignment or just the fire the mental desire to do it.
At one time I won awards and prizes for the art I did, but then eventually it just became too painful for me to do.
I think I'm getting a better perspective now. I did once do a beautiful (even I thought so) painting for a NAMI
gift card series project and it was rejected. What they chose was like a 5 year old's drawing. Maybe they had a different
priority - but my sense of doom about myself went out the window that indeed nothing I could do would ever....well
u can guess. I'm in a better place now - and just have to talk myself up about teaching people how to see my art (when I do it) and also that understand that some will see it right away and others won't but just got to keep on keeping on.
thanks arfie!
i'm loving the birthday present on more levels than i can count. the best gifts are pieces of ourselves.
i can easily believe you are an artist, markus questionarius. i can just as easily believe you shut off a big part of yourself when you stopped. as a drafter, i was often called an artist, but i never could agree. what i did was graphic math, all to scale and mathematically accurate. since i used CAD programs, my work was closer to programming than artistic expression.
even so, art gets my vote as the second greatest emotional channel in god's creation. playing music is number one. viewing art and listening to music is spectator sport. got's to do the do before it qualifies as channeling in arf world.
for what it's worth
i kinda like the kid art greeting cards. the simplicity works for me in the greeting context. K.I.S.S. K.I.S.S. keep it simple sweetie.
the more complex art needs room to detail its complexity. larger canvas needed.
Yay I love art <3 <3 <3
Big hugs :)
Thanks Arfie and lil missy