i want my power back

i have given so much of my power to stbx.  i talk about him.  i think about him.  i yell at him.  i love him.  i hate him.  i cry over him.  i pray 4 him.  i worry about him.  its a process.  1st step.  im going to try to stop talking about him.  sometimes its necessary.  but rarely.  i will try to keep it at a minimum and restrict it to therapy sessions.  so i called my therapist and made an appt.  i acknowledge that i am hurt and i do need an outlet 4 my feelings regarding my x and this marriage and the impending divorce.  but not as much as ive bn talking about it and not to as many people as ive bn talking to.  time to control and guide this thing and stop just letting my emotions run amuck. 
its going to be ok.  i am going to grow.  i am going to change.
2 1/2 months this baby inside me will be out of me.  around that same time my marriage will be over.  i am preparing 4 her.  i need to also prepare 4 the end of this marriage and trust that God will get revenge or maybe He already has.  i need to concentrate on the life that i am living and accept that stbx is no longer a part of it.
he's not my husband; well he wont be .  he s not my lover or my friend.  he's my enemy.  i need to protect myself from him and i need to stop attacking him.  does no good 4 anyone.  hurts me. 
i relive the hurt.  i need to be kinder to me.