I want it to end

It's only Monday and already this week seems unbearable.  I'm so confused.  I don't know what's happening to my life anymore.  I don't even know who I am.  My counselor thinks it's a possibility that I have D.I.D. and wants me to get tested for it.  I don't know. . . My life is falling apart.  I don't understand any of it anymore.   I don't know what's happening to my life.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know if there's anything I can do.  All I know is that I just want it all to end.  I just want to feel human again, though I don't know if that's even possible.   I feel like crying constantly.  I really feel right now like my life has lost all hope, and I'm not sure what to do.  I don't even know what to think anymore.  Just please let this all end . . . :'(