I want it back

i want to lay my head back and smile.....you know, how one just closes their eyes and smiles for no reason at all but for every reason in the world. The air smells sweet no matter the scent, the feel of everything around them is pleasant, comforting, perfect.....I used to be a dreamer.....maybe that evades us as we age and because of our experiences.....but I want it back. I want to feel the comfort that I could find any where no matter how hurtful life might have been and i want to dream again. I want the me back that knew how to smile and knew how to dream while undetered from my surroundings and even the foolishness of my leaving reality for a moment just to be able to face it.