I 'took my own side' :)
I was recognizing at work that I felt so down and suicidal actually -
like my life wasn't worth it....
but then, when I sat down for coffee break... I thought it's just a bad day...
and then I thought, I am not going to throw myself aside just because I am having
a bad day or bad feelings...and so in a sense I took my own side so to speak..
and that was affirming and I was valued and I was happier...
I was readier to take on whatever came my way because I was staying by my side despite the bad moments
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I think this 'finding value in yourself' is a mighty good thing. I think a lot of my anguish and twisting and turning mentally has been a lot about dealing with those feelings of 'no value or bad value' with regard to my reactions to things. I was twisting and turning to find something OF value aka 'the right way.' I might not always know the way to do things beautifully or the right course of action to take right off the bat....but I believe enough in myself to take myself there. I have an open mind and a sense of responsibility and I think I can do it.
Sorry Mark. I hope you feel better. Just remember this though, you are a very nice guy. I am glad to chat with you. :-)