I told
I wrote this after my appointment with my counselor today. It's what Sarah (the little part of me) wanted to say but couldn't. She was too scared, so she told me. I want to send it to my counselor, but wanted opinions first. Does it make sense? I'm so confused I don't really know or understand what I'm writing right now. Here it is:
I’m not supposed to tell anyone. Everything that happened to me was my fault. If I tell anyone, they’ll blame it all on me. I’ll be taken away, punished more than I am now. I need to keep quiet, through this punishment. Don’t fight it. Don’t cry out at the pain. Then it’s not so bad. Can’t make a sound. If I do they’ll hurt me more. So I go away. Someone comes to take my place. Because if I’m not there, they can’t do anything to me. I can’t feel the pain, or hear the words. It’s my fault anyway. Why would anyone listen to me? They only punish me when they say I’m doing something wrong. But I don’t understand. I don’t know how to be perfect. It doesn’t make any sense. I try, but I don’t know how. So I deserve this. That’s what I’m told. But I told someone what they did. What will happen to me now?
I’m not supposed to tell anyone. Everything that happened to me was my fault. If I tell anyone, they’ll blame it all on me. I’ll be taken away, punished more than I am now. I need to keep quiet, through this punishment. Don’t fight it. Don’t cry out at the pain. Then it’s not so bad. Can’t make a sound. If I do they’ll hurt me more. So I go away. Someone comes to take my place. Because if I’m not there, they can’t do anything to me. I can’t feel the pain, or hear the words. It’s my fault anyway. Why would anyone listen to me? They only punish me when they say I’m doing something wrong. But I don’t understand. I don’t know how to be perfect. It doesn’t make any sense. I try, but I don’t know how. So I deserve this. That’s what I’m told. But I told someone what they did. What will happen to me now?
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