I thought I had it down.

I thought I had it...well, not under total control, but down to one or two a month....and I was working with that. I'd have a seizure, come out of it, say "Ok, that's the day", clear my schedule, go home and go to bed, and the next day I was fine.

So throw in menopause, starting with perimenopause almost 12 years ago; increased seizures, indescribable mood swings, and digestive issues, among other menopausal symptoms (see me under "Menopause Groups").

Just the other month, it finally occured to my neurologist, who's an old guy, that one of my seizure medications also alters moods; without menopause, things were fine; throw in hormone chaos, and hello, crying jags and severe depression, SO he suggests that we wean myself off the old medication while I slowly introduce the new one (a second med that I take, I should just continue to take).

I take all my meds and supplements in 4 doses a day. At the middle of last month, I replace Med A with Med B for the first dose, and try that for the week. No problem. Increase to two doses of A and B; at the end of that week, I have a seizure. No cause for alarm; I have one or two a month, and that was probably it. 

Last Friday I go on a date during the day with my husband and have a wonderful time. I reduce the doses of A to once a day, and increase the doses of B to 3.

Saturday, I wake up with a raging headache. While on the toilet, I feel an aura, and have just enough time to wipe before I go out. I wake up on the couch where my husband put me after catching me falling. Oddly, within 3 hours, I'm ok enough to play cards with my daughter (usually I'm extremely sleepy). Then, in another hour, I have another seizure. This time I wake up feeling horrid, worse than I've ever felt, and I go right to bed.

Sunday, the same headache, and during the course of the day, I have no less than 6 seizures. The last 5 got less in intensity, until the 6th was like a wave through my head. But by that time, my brain was fried, and I couldn't get rid of the headache. Naturally, it was a weekend, so no calling the doc.

Today is Tuesday, and while I'm better, I can't say that I'm over it...shaky, tired, and very depressed. Everything feels strange, like someone picked me up, then plopped me down in an environment that LOOKS like mine, but isn't. Luckily, my family still feels normal to me. I'm afraid to go out by myself until I feel more stable. I've never had this many seizures in such a short time, so I'm trying by best to tell myself to just take it easy and rest up, don't expect to get out and do my normal routine.

What's different, too, is that some of my skills have worsened a liitle my ability to write the correct word, my handwriting, my ability to remember things. I have to THINK a little about where the keys are on this keyboard. That's all frightening. I'm extremely worried that this may be a first step in a downhill spiral.

The worst is that my stomach still keeps doing that little turning thing (that is, it FEELS like it's turning) that it does 1-30 minutes before I go into a seizure. Naturally, this increases my anxiety and stress levels because everything goes on Red Alert, and like I said, it keeps doing it. A number of times, I just started crying because I want it to STOP and give me some peace. I can't ignore it completely because it might be a sign of an actual seizure. So RED ALERT...no, it's ok.....RED ALERT....no, it's ok....RED ALERT...no i's ok...that's how the last 2 days have been.

I'm STILL trying to get the doc to call me back, although I was able to schedule an appointment with him this Friday. (You know what dealing with the medical community is like). I've gone back to half a day of one med and half a day of the other.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Like I said, I thought I had it down. Now, if I can just get there again...