i think we all had it the wrong way round!!

thank you all for taking the time to read my letter to jessy with the insight you had.  there is something i want to share with you all.  the grief we dont know what to do with, and then the guilt when we feel joy.  i think as follows:  (like you said, teri), also from all i have gained from the wonderful discussions on THE JOURNEY - for momsOnly....    the GRIEF, yes i think we have all been terrified of it, angry at it, felt it an intrusive thing we didnt want.  but it happened.  now the way WE see it is very probably NOT the way our angels see it.  certainly G-d sees everything crystal clear.   for some reason unbeknown to us at this point, it is a process we have to go through. and yes, we will eventually stop fighting off the grief, and learning that it is there to stay, and we will embrace it. and we will go back and forth through all the phases of the grief.... ... and when we begin to laugh and enjoy life, and start learning to give again, we must not feel guilty. we are not leaving our angels behind. our grief is not THEM. it is G-d's way of helping us to grow, to learn, to become more pure, and/or whatever else it is He wants us to do. our angels have already accomplished that!  their souls are pure!!!  that is why they didnt have to be here anymore. their souls were complete (possibly even back from a previous life - just to complete what their souls had to accomplish to become complete). they are waaaaaaaaayyyyyy ahead of us!!  they are already there!  they are already with G-d.  now they hold our hands as we continue our journey to achieve for our souls the completeness they achieved.every single one of us, without doubt, have spoken about the wonderful attributes of our beloved angels.  now we must strive to become wonderful pure souls too. i think we do this by loving and trusting in G-d, by doing as much good as we can for ourselves, for our children, for our family and friends, and for the needy, or anyone;  andby going through the grief we have to go through,  and by helping others along the way.and for every good deed we do, so we honor our angels. as they watch us they know we hurt. at some point maybe they hurt too, and its okay with them that we hurt. but i think they want to see us do good, as they did. to see us grow and to see us complete ourselves, and that will include laughter and fun, as they had. and not for  SECOND does this mean we are leaving them behind. we dont only remember them by GRIEVING for them. we remember them by every single good thing we do.  and every time we laugh or have fun, we will know in our hearts, that our angels are saying, "good, she's moving closer to me now". because guess what i think - i think maybe we all got it wrong...... .....  maybe while we are so guilty thinking we may be leaving them behind, maybe in fact, they are way ahead of us, and have LEFT US BEHIND !!!!!  and  maybe, just maybe,  they are at peace and are softly there with us every step of the way, knowing that when we are complete, then we will "catch up" with them. love always, jan