I think that I'm depressed

I think that I'm depressed and is trying to cover it up with other shit. I have tried prayers , meds and positive thinking. I still feel the same and I know that it will take a while before all that stuff set in but I need to know that something will change soon. My faith is getting weaker day by day. My energy is lowering more and more. I have been let down and now I feel that my life is against me and I "know" that's not true but it feels that way. I don't want to bitch about things all the time but my life is trying to suck slowly and take me with it. " sucking the Life out of me" and today I started to let it. I feel that I need a job before the anniversary of my Fired date to feel better. I know that it's all in my mind but that's what I feel. I feel like I will show them. HaHa, I got the last laugh.  I HATE THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE SO BAD IT BURNS A HOLE IN MY STOMACH WHEN I THINK ABOUT THEM OR THAT COMPANY!!!!!!! And I know that it's not good spritiually to be like that. I can't stop being who I am overnight. Please pray for me as I do you. Boston2 I hope you are doing well:)