I think it's time to end it all.

My last entry i mentioned that I finally went to the doctor to seek help for my depression. Today, a little over a month later, I have entered into one of the absolute worst moments of my life. The problem is nothing really happened to set it off it just did. I feel like I don't care anymore. As if nothing and no one matters, I feel like I don't matter. Like I'm just someone who makes the lives of everyone around me miserable and painful. All I feel is faliure and pain. Lots of pain. And I want it to stop. The thought of suicide keeps running over and over in my head. I keep thinking the end of my life, will probably make the life of everyone I know so much better and so easier. I feel like I'm worthless. I'm not worth anything to anyone. I doubt anyone would even notice if I died. My parents would probably be sad for a few weeks, then they'll realize that this makes their life so much better and brings them less trouble and less pain. I have no one else that cares so no one else would give a shit. The couple people I claim to be my friends, they're probably better off without me as well. all i do is nag, complain, and lie, and make useless drama. 
I just want it all to stop. I want the pain to go away. I don't want to feel miserable. I don't want to feel alone all the time. I don't want to feel like an anchor pulling everyone down. I don't want to be a fake. And the only way I know how to stop feeling and being this way is by ending it all.