I think it is finally happening
Think it finally happening, I think I am starting to accept what is happening to me, and living at the hospital. When I got here I kept having a dream. I would go up to all of the staff and tell them that I did not need to be here.
Today when I was being fed I was thinking why are they feding me I can do this myself and then it hit me that I could not do it myself. I realized that I really do not believe that I am as bad as I am. I think I have taken the first step on the road to acceptance.
I was talking to my Hubby today and he has had a good day as well he is not as upset as he was. For months we did not know if I would live. Our future involed the next hr the next day. Now we are planning what to do together. The hospital lets me go out when I want to, I can get my meds and go, as long as I come back to sleep here.
We are in a lovely spot, close to the water, the sail boats are still out. Right now we are having a great fall. The leaves are just starting to turn, we have warm sunny days and cool nights.
Yesterday my Hubby and I sat outside in the shade, my feet in his lap and we just talked about normal things, just like we used to. We did not talk about illness or what I could do or not do. We were just a married couple. We have not done that for over a year.
It feels like there is still some good left in life
Today when I was being fed I was thinking why are they feding me I can do this myself and then it hit me that I could not do it myself. I realized that I really do not believe that I am as bad as I am. I think I have taken the first step on the road to acceptance.
I was talking to my Hubby today and he has had a good day as well he is not as upset as he was. For months we did not know if I would live. Our future involed the next hr the next day. Now we are planning what to do together. The hospital lets me go out when I want to, I can get my meds and go, as long as I come back to sleep here.
We are in a lovely spot, close to the water, the sail boats are still out. Right now we are having a great fall. The leaves are just starting to turn, we have warm sunny days and cool nights.
Yesterday my Hubby and I sat outside in the shade, my feet in his lap and we just talked about normal things, just like we used to. We did not talk about illness or what I could do or not do. We were just a married couple. We have not done that for over a year.
It feels like there is still some good left in life
Replies
Sounds like you were on a date. I like it ;)
How nice that you were able to enjoy some time with your hubby and forget for the moment your illness, and everything that comes along with it. We are all the same people inside that we used to be..... nothing has changed except for how we handle our lives and our diseases, but Thank God we are still the same people we have always been and maybe even a little stronger! Prayers and positive thoughts are being sent your way.
Amy