I think I have to forgive myself
I've learned so much in the past
few days. Do you remember when
I said I had been in that physical therapy office
and they chatted with me until they concluded "oh
perfect perfect " and they said 'perfect' to most things
in response. I thought about that
and I thought about my insecurity about moving forward in life.
Backing myself into a corner of wisdoms - despite
a spirit for an independent venture.
I wondered about how people seem to be giving each other or getting
from each other what they want. What people want from each other,
I thought, seems to be a thing to look at.
What do I ask for I thought?
Remembering folks saying perfect perfect?
Maybe I feel such a need to be perfect - that I don't
do anything much beyond the grace of this monastic life.
Though that is something I get done - I also know that honoring my
ambitions while seemingly lost in retentiveness to act
that it may be about me forgiving myself for not being
perfect. For not having the perfect foray into what I choose to do.
I know people in the office space or job - definitely would have
compassion for mistakes - why can't I forgive myself
and have the same kind of self compassion?
I need to move forward and make some action.
I don't think life is just transactional but I wondered
what I ask at times is maybe to do with somethihng
i haven't questioned
Replies
How about I forgive myself for holding onto guilt over not being perfect and I forgive myself for holding onto guilt over thinking I have to be perfect....Jesus said, "Of all the things that make you feel uncomfortable, you never thought your guilt was one of them."
~~~Peace~~~
Thanks Bob!
You don’t expect your friends to be perfect so don’t expect that of yourself. Having said that, you are the perfect DS member. :)
thanks susan! :) (((HUG)))))
self-forgiveness is a full time job for me. even if i don't know what i did wrong today, there's gotta be something that needs to be forgiven. my most recent prayer for self-forgiveness is:
dear god, i am so sorry
for always being so sorry
for the constant doubt
which leads me to pout
over lessons i have yet to learn
please help me embrace
the me you have made
please open my heart
so i can do my part
in the great work of art
you created me to be
thank you for loving me
amen
thanks arfie!!