I think I "F'ed" up tonight
I cut I drank and I can't remember how many sleeping pills I took. It's like Russian rullet to see how much will knock me out tonight! I'm am totally nottaking care of myself and nobody cares. I can do what I want and nody can stop me! I have played with death before like this befor andit did not work. I do not know who the hell I am...Jessica, Bonnie, little Bonnie Annie NO i'm totally Victoria and sylvia tonight we love toget out of control! Mary and Kathryn are pissed right now.hahahaha! Boops ran away, but I think Nancy is enjoying this some too. I do not see any demons any more nor do I hear in the spirit realm any more but I think the enemy is influencing me toplay the game of Russion rullet with my pills and alcohol. I wonder how long I'll last.......
Replies
Ok I vented a little tonight in my support groups, We all have the right to be angry! It\'s not our faults!!!!!!!
Jessica I\'m really worried about you. Please seek help, I know it\'s not easy but if you find someone who you connect with it makes it a lot easier and so much better. I have been going for about 5 months now and I\'m not drastically better but I can see small changes already. Please take care of yourself. (((hugs)))
When I flirt with suicide I am at a place where I am full of self-hate. It is there anyway but it just gets stronger at times when I am real depressed. I wonder if you can relate to that? Please do seek help and don\'t do this to yourself anymore. I care.
I need to appologize to you all if I trigered anyone last night. I\'m usually not an angry person. I guess venting was better than taking my own life. Thanks for your mercy and kindness and loving support! Jess