I still don't understand

I still don't understand what I should do. I really don't wanna take medicine cuz I'm already messed up with a bunch of other stuff and taking meds will most likely mess me up even more. After a while my body gets immune to pills, so I have to take more and more and more. I'm also tired of this constant leg pain. It's unbearable most of the time.
So basically: I get depressed for no reason, I constantly have this leg pain and can't relieve it, I always feel tired no matter what, and I get the worse leg spasms in the world. I've tried alot of different things. I'm always in constant physical and mental pain. It never stops.
I just wanna saw my legs off all the time. I come very close to doing it sometimes. I feel like I'm going insane and I can't help myself and neither can anyone else.