I remain extremely depressed

Wish it was happier.  Checks come in and they go out.  Because of wedding anniversary, my spouse DEMANDED an expensive present that I cannot afford and money issues have escalated beyond my control and sanity.  I am a walking zombie.  Giving up on outside consulting almost certainly for food and with that goes much of everything else.  She does not understand how careful I have to be with my money but she has been spending hers lavishly until now when she hit a brick wall too, so she came down on me and wanted her GODDAMN ANNIVERSARY PRESENT OR YOU GET OUT NOW. Wish I had not married her.  Big mistake.