I never knew.......

I never knew the depth that you can feel the hurt when you cry for your beloved who is no longer here with you. I sometimes think I can feel it in the bottom of my soul. I wonder if they can feel how much we still love them? I don't want Jeff to feel the pain I feel from losing him. I want him to be at peace and happy that he is no longer sick. Sometimes I feel guilty when I am crying for him and beggin him to come back to me. Because I know that he is somewhere better than the place he was here on earth. And I would never ask him to come back and be in pain or misery just so I could have him next to me again.
I never knew the depth of the love I felt for him when he was here. I knew I loved him, but I never knew I could love someone so much. And I know he loved me even more. He always told me that he'd never loved anyone like he loved me. Not his first wife, or anyone else who had been in his life. He always told me that when he first saw my picture online, he knew I was going to be with him for the rest of his life.
I was blessed to have that love in this lifetime.
I love you, Jeff.