I need to do something with my feelings

I have been having flashbacks lately of being in the hospital - and also when I was really sick

and I was just on the streets..

I saw my brother today - we went to lunch and it was really good to see him. He came into the house and I introduced him to everyone

and it was like the different worlds came together.

I know I must be ok with it - I just don't feel so strong right now.

I feel like resting on someone's shoulder a little.

I feel a lot of things. I feel shame, I feel 'why me did I have to live this life' - I feel grateful that I am safe

and my family has stood by me.

I know if I feel bad, I've gotta adjust and do something about it. Maybe I'll go for a walk. Maybe I'll make something.

I know we have to find our peace - even though things aren't perfect and people around us might not offer reciprocal respect.

I can't react to all little things - I just kind of have to just accept it. Don't feel comfortable and I am started to eat a lot.

I'll make a phone call or go for a walk. We each gotta carry our bag of feelings. Writing this is kind of helping.