I need to cry sometimes

When I was in the hospital after my last suicidal mess, I learned the power of tears. There is something freeing about allowing myself to just cry and let all of the pain and heartache out. So many emotions are pent up inside after a lifetime of being told that only weak people cry. But I am tired of expressing my feelings with SI because it really doesn't help me the next morning. My goal is just to let myself cry for the mother who abandoned me, for the family that never adopted me, for the siblings that I have lost in the mess of the foster care system that I live in, for the birthdays and Christmases and holidays that I've missed. So yeah. I will cry by myself, with my rabbit, or on my Grandma's shoulder. ~Tracie