i need help

my friends, i need help.  i'm sorry. at times i am strong, and i can give such insightful and helpful support.  but right now i need help... . . .  i am anxiety stricken.  i cant believe jessy is dead. at times i cant believe she ever exicted!  it just cant be real that there was such a bond and now she's gone from this world where we could physically love each other. a am shaking all the time, i cant keep still, i dont know WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.  whatever i do doesnt calm me.  there is so much demand, what with the other 3 kids, and their own needs, one special needs.  i feel so sad, so freaked out, nervous, scared scared scared. i dont know what of, i just feel afraid. what happened? oh G-d, what HAPPENED in my life? you are the only ones who KNOW what i am going through. please help me to pull through this one.  i feel like i've had such positive times, with so much ambition to do so much good. and it's as if im just falling deeper and deeper into - i dont know what

Replies

KellyLee105
KellyLee105

I\'am sorry for the horrible feeling of despair, you have been experience, knowing you have to live the rest of your life without, your precious Jessy.....When I think of going my whole life, without my son, I HAVE TO, put myself in the moment...I will say to myself.... \" KELLY\" I only have to go through today, only today, 24 hours, without my son, Ryan...Sometime, I say it to myself 10 times a day. It is sooooo much easier, and it helps me feel comfort, and peace, for that day...I\'ve been playing tricks with my brain, especially ,\"NOW\" that the Holiday\'s are here...I hope this helps somewhat!! Love & Hugs To You, Kelly
deleted_user
deleted_user

im here for you
Robin4
Robin4

Jan, I\'m so sorry for all the anxiety and fear. I can totally relate when you write that you wonder if Jessy ever existed. I often think the same about my son. I see pictures and remember things but it\'s so surreal at times. Somedays it\'s like yesterday and other days, a lifetime ago. Kelly gave some great advice. Just get through each day just like in the beginning. Remember you\'ve been through probably the most difficult challenge you will ever have in your life, so the rest of the demands should seem relatively achieveable. Do what you can do. That\'s all that\'s expected. I think the holidays play even more with our emotions. There is added stress and it can take a toll. Be patient with your limits. Here for you. Much love. Robin
KandL
KandL

I\'m so sorry for the pain you are in. It is so hard to believe & so unfair that our kids are no longer physically with us. I send you prayers.peace & love. Sincerely, Linda
MartinsMom
MartinsMom

I know how you feel. You have to take a deep breath and go and hold your other children and know that their sister would want you to love and care for them as you did her. Our lifes are so crazy and I wonder why everyday that this happened to me because I was a great Mom and my son was an amazing person and we did not deserve it . God only knows why and someday we will see them again and it will feel likethey never left.
Love Camille