I Need Encouragement...Again :(

Today I finally was able to solve out one section of my factoring work in my math class...after having to watch around eight videos on VirtualNerd.com because I had enough questions to load a flatbed truck.
I should be feeling a little better that I finally found some help that makes sense.  But tonight all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry.  My heart is telling me that is no fight left in it, that it can't come to terms with what has happened and is happening.
It wants my original tutor back, even though the circumstances surrounding losing her were out of my hands and unavoidable...
It's convinced I have no shot at making it through finals in one piece (positive thoughts have not worked for me in, basically, ever, because I want proof of something before I believe it to be true)...
I can feel it waving the white flag...and that's not good.  Obviously it wouldn't be this way if I knew some other reaction than panicking when I lost my math tutor in the first place.  But I don't know any other reaction, and I seem to have this gift of turning any attempt to focus on something else so I can't think about it into a negative in its own right, either by abuse or by some other means.
This can't be, isn't good...especially because if I did have any fight in me left, with tomorrow being a free play (campus closed for Veterans Day) I could have done enough damage to my backload to actually feel comfortable with my position and maybe even have a chance at the research paper, even though my questions about library resources will likely never be answered as a result of last week's unfortunate stress-out.
It all just feels like it's too much.  I feel like for all intents and purposes, my dreams are effectively dashed. :(