I must be so selfish

I have everything to live for. A wonderful fiancé, fabulous friends and the job I have always dreamed of, yet I still can't seem to control my brain the moment I get anxious.
I have been free of having any bouts of punishing myself using food for two and a half years now. Since meeting my soon to be hubby, everything has been on the up. Or at least it was, until a few months ago.
Don't get me wrong, the thoughts have always been there, but I have always maintained that I am much stronger now, I don't need to punish myself for anything, and the feeling of being healthy is far more important than being thin. I have had ten years of looking in the mirror and seeing something fat and horrible, but at least in the last 30 months, I didn't believe what I saw in the mirror.
In the last few months, things have changed. The pressure of having to sort out a wedding, keep everyone happy, save for a house and having two friends who are feeling exceptionally low is finally getting to me. I want to be there for everyone, and to be able to do everything as soon as possible. Money is a constant worry as I have been the only one who has been working for a while. It just all seems to be getting to be too much, and I really need to take a step back, while still supporting everyone.
All of this pressure has got me to the point where I'm back to eating a single meal each day. The one when my fiancé is around. I want to go to the gym really badly to burn that off, but I'm resisting as much as I can. I feel like I'm a terrible person for not being able to sort all of this out and for not being able to make all of my friends pain go away. On top of that, I feel horrendous for punishing myself in this way again. In general, I just feel bad.
I am so lucky, but I must also be the most selfish person in the world for doing this to myself. I want to stop, but I can feel that familiar comfort again, that nice dull aching and tingling in my muscles that says I'm in control.