I miss my cats on vacation....or do I ??

 (Funny, to me anyway...)I am on a very nice vacation, yet, I miss my cats.  I love dogs but I miss my cats.  I had dogs when I was a kid, Smokey the German Shepard and Moose the Dachund(think wiener dog)  Moose was female and my dad named her Moose to irk my mom.  They are long since divorced (my parents, not the dogs) …gee wonder why…though I digress…  As a kid I thought Moose was a ‘dash’ hound.  But ANYONE who watch them behave with any urgency knows that ‘dash’ could not possibly be the correct name…."dash-less" hound, yes.   Smokey was a fierce protector but suffered acute incontinence which means he was a good ‘watch dog’  but only if you caught him when he was 'ON DUTY'  and not when he was doing duty, which was often, poor guy.  Timing really IS everything ….though I digress…  I miss my cats.  I guess I could have brought them but I am pretty much they go in the cargo bay, which I could never do, else you would have to buy a seat for them.  We could put them under the seat but then they’d miss the in-flight movie. Now this raises a quandary of how to care for them during flight.  I think I could get them belted after a 5 minutes of compulsary kneading of the seat.  And then they’d be asleep before we taxied out.  But emergencies are a question.  I DO listen….I would secure the air mask around MY face BEFORE attempting to assist my cats…IF I could find them.      WHICH BRINGS me to the recent flight that crashed in the Hudson River. Incredible.    The phrase “BRACE FOR IMPACT” is in fact annually used in my family each holiday season as the extended family strolls up our house walkway.  Ironically I was flying here to my vacation destination when this jet crashed in NY.  This is a time I am GLAD they do not have live TV or internet access on a jet.  Or statistically you could be RELIEVED because the odds of two US carrier  jets crashing on the same day is so small you know you will survive.  Maybe trip on the baggage claim pickup and crack your head open, killing you instantly, but you would NOT die in the jet crash.  Timing is everything…Though I digress…  But the order of events for my crash in the Hudson would be would be different for me if I had my cats.   FIRST the jet hits the flock of geese and passengers said the interior started smelling of “burning feathers” and basically,  cooked goose. I would look over and see my cats with the food service trays already down and napkins tied around their necks,  looking anxiously down the isle for the food cart to arrive.      But then comes the “BRACE FOR IMPACT”  unfortunately qualified with “…a WATER landing”.  I would have to search for the cats at this point.   They are no dummies.  They would be afixed, upside down, on the roof of the plane (the high water mark) instinctively.  You know that useful tidbit of info is not in the flight crash leaflet int eh seat back pocket. But animals are very smart.   And the words ‘floatation device’ and ‘cats’ are oxymorons, like grass (think lawn) plants having the word ‘duck!!!’ or 'hide!!!' in their plant vocabulary to scream to eachother as the lawn mower approaches.  Though I really digress...    I guess I don’t miss my cats after all…better go back to the poolside....Cheers, NotFound404