I might be on the autism spectrum- just thoughts
I have an aspect to me that is impulsive and insatiable
I know we can’t always feel good in life and this impulsive insatiable side can cause my mind to eat away at me with thoughts or taunts. This side makes my mood tortured and worse. My impulsive, compulsive side can cause me to reach out to my family to stabilize or just plain recognize me (to feel strength or pride or ok in life too) is not fair for me to inflict on them. I sense it can be a nuisance for them too, after all we are all trying to live our lives. My steadiness of mood can falter a lot during activities and I must deal with the intermittent and intermediary feelings between pain and happiness, transitioning from person to person, group to group, task to task, dynamic to dynamic. The hurt and the happiness must be filtered so then I would make the positive cognitive choice of a healthy good outlook.
I sometimes believe the remedy for me would be focusing on boundaries and then would want there to be boundaries in my life, I want to feel important to myself too along the way....I know I'm important to myself family and friends and colleagues (so a pep talk to myself at times is the solution) But I also understand that boundaries won’t always be considered or taken seriously so again a self pep talk is needed. I need to negotiate this issue.
I need to chant to myself to build myself up and value and take care of my life.
I can’t live in a pretty picture. Maybe that’s it. I might be a bit autistic. Autism can be about seeing the world as a picture vs. a movie. Dynamics have always been challenging for me.
Replies
Big hug Marky
Has this ever been discussed with your doc or has he/she brought it up?
I was wondering about some complex trauma or complex ptsd
I hope that you have a good appt today!!...xo
Thanks Jan!
https://share.google/aimode/bZ2vsTYgtkYW7ygW8
Mark, I really hear you. What stands out to me most is how self-aware and responsible you’re being, especially how much you care about not putting your inner strain on your family. That’s strength.
I’m really glad you have a therapist and support in place, because what you wrote is exactly the kind of thing worth bringing into that room. You deserve steadiness and relief, not more self-judgment.
And for what it’s worth: you’re not a nuisance. You’re a human being doing your best in a loud inner world. I’m here, and I’m rooting for you....hugs
What Jan mentioned has crossed my mind, too. Hopefully, your therapist can provide some insight. Sending an extra hug, just in case you need one.
Thank you so much Bob and Judy!!!
Wondering Mark if this has ever been brought up as a dx by a psy....that is where you need to start if you want to pursue this dx...not a therapist.
Having dealt with aspergers for nearly 30 years I can tell you only a psy can dx, and that is the road to a clear answer.
Thanks Mary Louise!
To clarify, I was referring to discussing C-PTSD with your therapist, not whether you might be on the spectrum. A therapist can help you explore the root causes of how you’re feeling and determine whether DBT, CBT, IFS therapy, and ego-state therapy (among others) might be helpful. I agree with Mary Louise that a diagnosis related to the spectrum is best made by a psychiatrist. Hugs to you both.
Thanks Judy!!