I might be on red, but that doesn't mean you have to be

Tonight, I'm just going to be silly with everyone.
There is a series of page-a-day calendars and books that I am just absolutely hooked on: The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said.  Maybe you've heard of it.  In essence, they are quintessential cases of "open mouth, insert foot", and no one's immune.  For a time Workman Publishing, who publishes the page-a-day calendar every year, guaranteed that each year would feature quotes even more dumb than the year before.
There's a website: stupidest.com, to be exact, if you want to see more beyond what I'm about to reveal.  Some of my favorites:
On a bottle of sleep aid pills: "May cause drowsiness."  (Ahem, isn't that the point?)
An actual case that has been argued before U.S. Courts: Advance Whip and Novelty Co. v. Benevolent Protective Order of Elks (Just what were those Elks doing?)
Then presidential candidate Barack Obama, on the campaign trail: "I've been in 57 states, I think...one more to go."  (When it comes to sounding like idiots, politicians have an insurmountable lead.)
Former vice president Dan Quayle: "I love California.  I practically grew up in Phoenix."  (Erm...isn't Phoenix in, like, Arizona or something?)
In China, a bus tour translated into English was printed right to left like Chinese characters:
YNAPMOC ELIBOMUTOA
LEVART NAMMUY
More like seman sub (bus names), confusing.  It was supposed to read:
AUTOMOBILE COMPANY
YUMMAN TRAVEL
Finally, here one straight from the stupidest.com website.  Two signs at a Shanghai train depot:
SOFT WAITING LOUNGE
RIGIDITY WAITING LOUNGE
(This one highlights the difficulties often encountered with translating Asian languages to English.  I have no clue what they were really meant to say.  Do you?)