I'm tired of all this shit people.

I'm tired of going through the same shit every year. I'm tired of going through the same shit everyday. I'm tired of all these people saying that they love me when they never do. They either stop loving me and leave me to cry and be by myself, or pretend to love me and never do. I don't do anything but give my love back to them. My "so called" friends. They always leave me. Whoever is destined to meet me always leaves me in the end. They either leave me because of death or they just walk away from me and never care or talk to me again. I'm tired of being depressed all the time and I'm tired of all this shit. I'm tired of everything being my fault, when it obviously isn't. People threaten to kill me just because I care about them? I don't understand what else I'm supposed to do. No one cares about me at all. No one never has and no one never will. I was safer when I was just by myself and never talked to anyone.  I wasn't constalntly hurting as bad as I am now. I'm tired of all the hurt and pain I'm put through all the time.
I've been physically hurting myself again. I know that I shouldn't do it, but there's nothing else I can do to calm myself down when I cry. I cry every day and every night. I'm at school writing this and crying right now. I'm tired of feeling like I'm just a waste of time. But, I guess I am. Idk. I feel like I'm supposed to feel like this forever I guess. I've been dealing with it all this time. Maybe not as good as I should. But, I am anyway.