I'm suffering today
At times I wish there were a manual for how to operate my 'mortal coil'
and I really admire all of you and those in my life who can manage your lives
so well and go for goals and achieve them.
Today I am experience great darkness inside - very aggressive feelings
that I am trying to not listen to..I worked a good day at the market today
and right towards the end I realized that it was kind of tiring. I became aware
of the fact that I work hard and the job requires you to work hard and in all honesty
it is hard work. I used to think of it as something I could do and still know I can do it
but maybe it's age or maybe heightened awareness (if just for today) about the
nature of the work. My legs and my pelvis and lower back are achey. So I am trying
to rest by putting my legs up on the couch. This journalling helps me get rid of the
energy and I would go for a walk if I weren't so achey and tired.
I hope you guys are having a good day and managing the best you can.
peace,
Mark
Replies
Are you comparing innards and outtards again? I betcha dollars to wishes that I can find 5 of your coworkers who admire your outward appearance of keeping on without a clue what is passing on the inside.
I truly admire the way **you** keep on keeping on, despite the inner turmoil.
Dunno if I am having a good day or not, but I'm managing the best I can.
Thanks Arfie! After journaling I finally chocked it up to just 'one of those days.'
I don't think I was comparing innards and outtards but in a little bit by not
contextualizing my suffering it inevitably was a little bit like that.
I just really admire folks and stand in recognition and appreciation of the hard
work that it takes to live!
You rock Arfie!!! (hug)
Don't mind me. . . I jumble words --ALLOT. I often wish I had a backspace and edit function for my tongue, but even with those functions, I still jumble my typed words, also.
I was shooting for you to recognize yourself as one of those people worthy of your appreciation for doing all that hard work.
How ironic is it that we don't get to see our own outtards? All we get to see of our own outward appearances is pieces, reflections and reproductions. We don't get to see our whole selves live and in action. Not ever. It is all too easy to compare our insides to other people outsides. Conversely, we get to see even less of other people's insides than we see of our own outsides.
thanks Arfie!
Hugsies. I’m having rough days on the job. Almost to the weekend. You’re doing supercalifragilisticexpialodociously
thanks Nikki. I am just accepting it all. Riding it all out.. Week is half over, woot!
Have a good night.
You too! Tv, frozen pizza for dinner and couch time. Sometimes it’s so welcome. We are almost to the weekend. We can do it!!